Open letter to Nokia.
Can we talk? This isn't easy. We've been together now for over ten years and, well, it's not working out. It's not me, it's you.
I still remember when we first met. It was at university, some 13 years ago. Do you remember? We were inseparable! I took you everywhere I went: we used to spend hours talking and texting.
Texting was new back then, do you remember? You were really good at it.
Sure I flirted with a Sony Ericsson for a bit but it didn't last. I came back to you and we renewed our relationship every year or 18 months...
You changed a lot over the years but I loved you more and more. Do you remember some of the clothes you used to wear: 6185 (looks so dated now!), 7210 (so colourful), 8210 (you lost a lot of weight back then), 6230 (business-like)...
You were cutting edge. You used to keep me up to date with news and football results, you helped me stay in touch with my friends, you used to wake me up in the mornings and you always reminded me if there was somewhere important I had to be. You even had time to play games!
But in recent years, you have to admit, things haven't been great between us.
It all started with what I like to call the N80 years. You were basically ok then but what was with that headphone socket? And the PC Suite? We never seemed to... connect. Visual Radio? That just didn't really... work, did it.
Then we progressed into the N95 era. Sure, I didn't say anything at the time but I was never too pleased with you sliding both ways... And although you made bold promises about being able to help me find my way around using satellites you, well, didn't. In fact, you made a lot of promises and just never delivered. You tried to do so much and ended up not being able to do any of it.
Others tried to turn my head, but I stayed loyal to you. I won't lie to you, I looked at HTC and Apple but you are my first and only love and I couldn't bear to be apart from you. And so it was that I entered the final phase of our relationship, the N97 period.
How did it get this bad? I don't really remember exactly when I fell out of love with you. Was it when the bluetooth stopped working or when the wifi stopped working? Was it when the screen lock button fell off or perhaps months before when it didn't really work anyway? Perhaps it was when you offered me free turn by turn navigation but refused to install the maps anywhere other than the pitifully small C: drive despite having tonnes of memory elsewhere, and then told me I had insufficient memory if I, you know, wanted to access the internet or receive emails. Perhaps it was when you had crashed for the 1000th time after I had done nothing more sinister than tried to make a phone call. And you promised me apps but delivered the Ovi Store! What a joke that was.
The list goes on but I respect you too much to **bleep** about you any further.
So, whilst I am being honest, I have to tell you something. I've been cheating on you with Apple for the last few months.There I said it. I've been seeing an iPod Touch. Its intuitive user interface, the simplicity of itunes, and its huge ranges of high quality cheap apps have pushed me over the edge. I'm taking our relationship to the next level. That's right, I've ordered an iPhone 4. I'm so sorry. I can't even see us ever getting back together in the future, no matter what you promise.
Take care, I'll never forget the good times. xxx